tatters
by tatty ted
Summary: "You're miserable Janet! You're frustrated and you're jealous and you can't even see it!" Yes she was miserable. Yes she was frustrated and yes, okay she was jealous of Rachel fricking Bailey. And why was she jealous? Because Janet Scott knew she'd never have her, not really. - —implied Janet/Rachel.


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**tatters**  
_are you ready, are you ready?_

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- — "You're miserable Janet! You're frustrated and you're jealous and you can't even see it!"

Rachel doesn't even know why she says it. She doesn't engage her brain or her mouth and the result is, she ends up shouting the odds. Maybe deep down she's still pissed off at being thrown out Janet's even though, now she was sober, she understood why.

It was slightly disrespectful to shag a guy at your best friend's house.

Janet breathes deeply, in and out, in and out, trying to keep some composure. She couldn't believe one of her closest friends could be so selfish, so bitchy and stab her in the back. The cheeky bitch, she thought. She knew any minute another side of Janet Scott would surface,

The cheeky fucking bitch!

She couldn't help but scoff, frustrated? Yeah she was frustrated alright. Frustrated at having to pick up the pieces to Rachel's shattered life and try and attempt to put them back together. Yes she was miserable but who could blame her? Two teenage daughters, still living with her mother and a impending divorce.

Jealous? That was the word that hit her the most because she realised it was true. She was jealous of Rachel Bailey and she knew exactly why. Rachel was much younger and prettier and could get any guy she wanted.

"Fuck off Rachel," she screamed back. She's sick of it, sick of her. Yes they were friends but that didn't mean she had to pick up every piece of Rachel fucking Bailey's life. You didn't see her doing the same for her do you? No. Maybe this is it. Maybe this is the end. The end of them, the end of their friendship.

The car door slammed shut and Janet watched her storm off. She knew exactly where she'd be heading, to the pub, to down her sorrows, to find some other guy to spend the night with. She tried to get the thought out of her mind, it wasn't her problem what Rachel did, she didn't give a shit anymore about her.

It was a lot harder than she anticipated, to fall asleep that night. She stayed awake for the most part, staring at the ceiling wondering if Rachel was okay. She reflected on the first time they met each other, how Janet couldn't stand Rachel because she reminded her off a teenager.

But she'd grown on her.

She eventually sleeps, eventually been the keyword. It isn't as long as she would like but it was a start. It was harder to forget about someone you'd spent the last couple of years trusting and loving only to realise that deep down, they were a selfish, poisonious bitch you would do better without.

Work is difficult. The atmosphere between them could be cut with a knife. Rachel tries to find the right opportunity to apologise but it never seems right. Never seems the right time to start discussing "the other night."

She breaks the silence; "Janet I'm—" only to be firmly cut off, "Forget it Rachel."

All day they don't talk, unless it's work related and then it's short and blunt and to the point. It's miserable for both of them but both are too stubborn to do anything about it. It's late afternoon when Rachel finally catches her and says something.

It's just her name but Janet stops. She turns around and holds her gaze for a second too long, "I used to care about you, now I couldn't give a monkeys." And the gaze between them lasts that second longer before she turns around and walks away.

And it hurts. Fuck it hurts more than she thought it would, to drag herself away from the one person she considered a close friend (other than Gill) It hurt to drag her away from a poisonous bitch, a selfish, backstabbing bitch who'd do something like she had to hurt her.

It was only then, as she reflected in the bathroom, that she realised was she was so jealous catching Rachel and Kevin in the act. She wanted Rachel and she knew she'd never have her, not really.

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**jottings** / i'm not a huge Janet/Rachel shipper, i do think they're more best friend's but this fic was screaming to be written. It's shocking and terrible and oh god, just awful — however, if you like it enough to favourite, please leave a review :D


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